Alan Bahrenburg's one-liners, souveniers from his river cruises.

1. How do you make a German chocolate cake? First you occupy the kitchen.

2. After much discussion as to where the capital of the new Germany should be Bonn or Berlin, a compromise was struck: Paris

3. .What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin

4. Why are there so many tree-lined streets and leafy trees in France?
Germans like to march in the shade.

5. How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?
They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving.

6. Do you know why Germans build such high quality products?
So they won't have to go around being nice while they fix them.